She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize