jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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