my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
it's like heaven, but drunker
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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