The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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