what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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