Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
