You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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