I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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