Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
