You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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