The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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