moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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