i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
