You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish you could order shots online.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
