You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
