Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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