okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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