can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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