I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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