he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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