tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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