Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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