I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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