Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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