So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door