omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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