I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
