He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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