The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
