I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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