I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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