I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
