any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
