Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
