I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
