She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
