I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
