worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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