Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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