pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
