dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
