We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
where are my pants?
in the oven.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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