If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
