Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
