there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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