You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
When are your genitals available?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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