I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
