I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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