god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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