The maid of honor just puked.
youre lurking in front of me
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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