The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
