we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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