We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
All I want is dick and wine.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize