I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
