Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
