I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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