white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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