I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
