i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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