Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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