If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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