I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
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So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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