Three words: puerto rican gang bang
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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