Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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