she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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