Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
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there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
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My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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