You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
