I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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