my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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